Over the summer, I took a break from I Fancy Thee to focus on trying to survive in a post-grad world. I had a summer position to manage, a new city to explore, and all sorts of relationships to figure out. With a full plate and juggling a lot of new things in life, something had to give. This Summer was one of the happiest times of my life, with the Fall bring one of the most challenging parts of my life. My female friendships have brought me stability through this difficult transition into adult life.
In my life, I have had the privilege to know and love so many beautifully strong, amazingly unique women. I have lived with, traveled with, and learned from these incredible people. These women have been mentors, teachers, partners-in-crime and everything in between. My female friendships shaped who I am today and will continue to influence me for the rest of my life.
My Thoughts on the F-Word
Female friendships sometimes get a bad rap, that they are not always genuine or honest. Don’t get me wrong, it is not always sunshine and rainbows in all of my friendships. There have been days where my girl friends have driven me up a wall in their own unique, frustrating ways. Just when I am about to lose it, I am remind myself of all of the reasons I love my female friends. It is important to look at that person as a whole and choose to love every part of them, even when they won’t text me back (you know who you are).
Now this is not meant to knock my guy friends in anyway, I love my guy friends and I am very grateful to have them in my life. My girlfriends, however, have a special little way just making me feel a little more secure and safe. Usually a “glass half empty” type of thinker, I strive to be as much of a realist as possible. My female friends have filled my empty glasses, showing me new ways of thinking and viewing the world. As post-grad life has scattered us all around the country, we are all trying to find our place in the world. Taking new jobs, finding apartments, and learning to adjust to being more than 5 minutes away are just a few of the challenges that we have been faces with recently.
One of the my favorite summer memories was taking an extended girls weekend over the 4th of July. Four days spent laughing, eating, and drinking was the perfect infusion of friendship, reminding me how important these special ladies are to me. It is truly a special type bond to order your friend a surprise vodka shot and her just knocking it back.
A connection through iMessage, Snapchat, and Instagram does not feel like it is enough sometimes, but it is a transition I think we are all working on making. This has become apparently clear to me as we all experience our own hard moment in adult life. Trying to comfort someone over the phone is not the same as a long drive and a hot cup of coffee.
My Female Friends Today
Very recently, I have been dealing with my own set of challenges. Five months post-grad, I have learned that heartbreak is 1. not as concrete as the sitcoms make it seem (but that is another story for another day) and 2. without having your people around you physically, it can seem very lonely. I found myself sitting in a new apartment, in a new city, missing college. Not because I missed classes, but I missed being able to walk out of my bedroom and into the arms of my biggest supporters.
For the first time I actively felt a void, the need for my best friends. Overwhelmed with emotion and feelings, all logical thoughts had left my brain. I sat on the floor of my apartment (because I had no furniture) and I was completely numb- I could not process all of the thoughts and feelings that spiraling out of control. As my phone started to ring for my weekly Facetime with one of my closest female friends, I went into autopilot mode and answered. Immediately concerned and trying to figure out what was wrong, I told her I didn’t want to talk. “Ok, then we won’t talk but I am not going to let you be upset alone, so I am going to sit on the Facetime until you want to hang up and after that I am going to send you a meme every hour, so I know you at least have something to laugh at when you are ready” she said. An hour and a half later and barely any words spoken, I hung up the Facetime and was flooded with memes.
My female friends are my soulmates. In their own special, unique way they are able to see all the different parts of me and love and accept me for who I am. There are the people that will meet me at Trader Joe’s on Sundays, send me memes when I am going through a hard time, the ones that will encourage and support me (even when they don’t agree with me). My friends will sit in the car with me, listening to music and just talking about life. Bring me my favorite trail mix and coffee when they know I need a pick me up. Read through emails or texts messages before I send them or give me advice that I might not necessarily want to hear but need to hear.